Menstruation Crustacean: Octopus (No Amazon Sales)

Whatever you do, do not dip this octopus in marinara sauce. The Menstruation Crustacean Octopus is a microwaveable heating pad for cramps. NOT a delicious fried appetizer nor a main course. You're supposed to microwave this Octopus for one minute and then apply it to the affected area, resulting in soothing warmth that will ease your cramps or discomfort, NOT eat it. PLEASE stop asking us this.